Upbringing Your Child
“Agar phir gaali di, tou tumhari zaban jala dungi!” a threat most of us have heard at some point in our life. Seeing parents threat their children with punishment is a common sight, but seeing parents act on their threats is a rare one.
One day, our Psychology teacher started about parenting. Dr. Shamim, a PhD in the subject says that giving false threats is a sign of bad parenting. When children make mistakes they need an understanding about the mistake, not threats. Threatening to punish a child, especially young children, will only arouse their curiosity even more.
A child is wrong only the first time he makes a mistake. He receives false threats of punishment. The second time a child does the same thing is to check how genuine the given threat is. And when in the second time the punishment (in our case, tongue burning) isn’t acted upon the child starts repeating on it more often.
Children are born curious. They question everything, even the truth in your words. It is necessary for parents to only give punishments that are realistic enough for them. This will help their children be more obedient. If your child makes a mistake, promise to boycott them. Next time if they repeat, you should instantly stop acknowledging their existence. Being too kind can be harmful to your parenting as well.
Don’t give into your child’s whines and pleadings until they sincerely apologize. Parenting is a test only lateral thinkers can pass.
When children do something, it’s the parents’ duty to tell them which is right and which is wrong. With that, it is also the child’s right to know why something is right and why something isn’t. Most parents usually only fulfill the first part.
Most young adults had their say in this as well. When we are young, we are told not to play with the opposite gender. And the answer to why we shouldn’t is mostly ‘because I said so.’ In our country parents who give their children the freedom to choose are a minority. Most parents raise their children in a box.
The box is already painted from the inside and has instructions written for the child growing in it. The box has ‘things you can do’ and ‘things you can’t do’ but there seems to be no section of Frequently Asked Questions. If we don’t give our children answers to their questions, they will stop questioning at all and become a part of a structure.
Structuralism bounds the curiosity and imagination of a child. The biggest gift a child has is their imagination. Instead of giving children answers to choose from, we tend to give them the answers we think is right. This habit of most parents restricts development of intelligence in a child.
Everyone is born intelligent; the challenge is to remain that way. Psychologists say that our intelligence can be increased with increased activity of our neurons (brain cells). Giving your mind challenges makes more neurons active. For example, using your left hand to do work if you’re right handed or vice versa, choosing an unknown route when going home, trying to learn a different language. You don’t have to become a pro at these things, but changing the monotonous pace is helpful to your mental and physical health both.