Marriage & Family
There used to be a time when Pakistani marriage was a collective domain of immediate family, close relatives and family friends. The supposed candidates were among the concluding ones in entire ladder of ‘concerned’ people. I shall not say that it still isn’t alike but some positive developments have gallantly replaced the older and primitive conventions when it comes to tying the nuptial knot. Fortunately, now things have changed. One such transfiguration is that we are now having smart, learned and professionally active ladies in abundance for whom their self-worth and personal recognition comes first. They are ready to take up challenges and prove themselves as capable of achieving whatever they aspire. The new hierarchy of priorities has not only influenced the family structure and personal lives of many women but it is rapidly persuading the entire social order as well. The change is optimal because it has emerged like a breeding ground for many other ladies who want much more from their life than just marriage. For sure, by this we don’t indicate, infuse or advocate absolute disposal of the concept of marriage but rather intend giving it a new dimension. The modified and innovative additions in the idea of getting into a typical Pakistani marriage are seemingly interesting yet fruitful too.
Rabia, a young software engineer recalls her first experience of appearing before a party that came with a Pakistani marriage proposal. “I didn’t shy away from telling them my plans for life when they asked me about it. Generally, girls handle such a situation with traditionally accepted and expected modes. There is no wrong in wanting anything you like and expressing it”, opined she.
It is important to mention here that the modern woman is not a self-centered entity. She respects and wants to be treated with dignity. For her, brains matter much more than just material security.
Ayesha Khalid, who is an artist sees Pakistani marriage in Pakistani society as nothing more than an observation of societal customs. She says, “No father is at first ready to marry off his daughter to a man who earns less bucks or is financially unstable, no matter how kind a person he is. We are not building relationships in their true essence but according to our desires. I strongly don’t mean that all women are selfish but quite a large chunk of sophisticated ladies think like this. You have to decide what’s more important to you-a person who is learned and rational or someone that fulfills your status quo requirements.”
“I had a friend who used to boast about her ideal man. A man, who according to her must be literate and possess coherent approach towards life. Back then, she was less concerned about social status and material possessions as she herself hail from a middle-class background. Now, she has married an extremely affluent man who’s double her age, strongly contradicting her all previous statements. We all usually come across such kind of people and it’s very painful to see how rapacious we have become”, uttered Zahra who is a lecturer.
Diversity exists among women and their ideas about getting into a Pakistani marriage. For some, their personal worth matters more while others look for internal qualities in their partner. Some prefer wealth and luxury over everything else. Everyone has liberty to opt for anything that sounds better to them; however we should ultimately settle on something that is healthier and persistent in the long run. Freedom of choice is a blessing, especially when it is attained after great efforts and so it must not be recklessly handled.