Upbringing Your Child

Why kids grow up to be the way they are?

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Friends was an interesting show back in the 90s wasn’t it? I really enjoyed the interaction between Monica and Phoebe, in spite of being best of friends those two characters could not have been further apart and if it weren’t for the fact that the show was fictional those two characters would have never gotten along in real life.Friends 300x206 Why kids grow up to be the way they are?

One could look at Monica as a perfectionist and Phoebe as a hippy, conversely one could look at Phoebe as a free spirit where as Monica as a control freak. One has a life that is centered around control and discipline, where as the other centered around living and learning.

Did you ever wonder what role each characters parent played?

According to leading psychologist’s such as Erikson and Freud, the reason kids grow up to the way they are with such a strong difference in personality stems back to the early child hood years, specifically between the ages of 2 and 4. Physiologically this is the period where we start referring to our babies (infants) as children. During this age children are being trained to use toilets independent of nappies.

Punishing kids 300x300 Why kids grow up to be the way they are?If a parent is extremely stern with their child during this period, they would grow up to be obsessively organized and excessively neat ala Monica Gellar. Whereas if a parent takes a very relaxed approach their children will grow up to be careless and disorganized.

The downside of being organized and neat is that the child will lack self confidence, whereas the one who maybe careless and disorganized will have their autonomy. This goes with the storyline of the show as Phoebe grew up without a mother and Monica’s mom was always stern and discouraging in the early seasons.

In conclusion, parents need to strike a balance. Punishing and shaming a child would be excessive. Not doing anything will also have negative consequences later in life. It is important to take an enlightened approach and just talk to your children about their choices. Help them understand the reason for the punishment and to learn from their mistakes. 

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